Love Actualized [newsletter]

Love Stories, Love Actualized, and the risky business of love. 

“Love is Risky Business.”

Dominique dropped that line after I spoke to the pain in my heart.
I have this theory, that love has a super power: it never dies. It can change form, it can run to a mountain top far away, hide under a rock when afraid of being destroyed, but once created, I'm pretty sure that love never dies. 

But it’s complicated, and love hangs out with a motley crew. Can’t you see a bar scene where Love struts in, wearing a sailor cap, and a thick gold chain around its neck. And on one arm it has its buddies Ecstasy, Intimacy, and Romance, and the other arm is linked with Jealousy, Rage, and Abandonment. 'Cause when Love show up it brings the party. (I have an entire animated script on that very topic waiting to be produced).

Valentine’s Day is beckoning.

Want to delight a loved one with something that that fosters your intimacy and connection (and doesn't involve cards, roses, or lace?)

Soul to Soul Love Stories (50% off for Valentine's Day) could be a delightful way to honor a soul love, whether that person be in the form of a lover, a friend, or family member.

To explain the mysterious: a Soul to Soul love story sheds light on how your relationship dynamics play out in the archetype, myth, and metaphor. This is a dynamic and fun way to look at your relationship through a completely different lens. 

Michael Mead says we have a dimension right behind this one, it is a mythic dimension. Clarissa Pikola Estes refers to an ancient lineage of story tellers that used the wind to blow the soul of the person into their face. The way I explain this unique work is that we integrate your mythic/archetypal self into your human form by calling in your soul's story. We make the intangible tangible through the word and symbol so that you can relate to it. It is a great way to examine what is living in your unconsciousness in a most delightful way. 
If you are curious but still scratching your head, the best way to understand is to hear from the people who have experienced them. 

When I’m winning, my favorite Valentine's Day game to play is to think about who needs a little extra kiss from the universe and make sure they get a good dose of a secret valentine. Sometimes I win at that game and get fueled by the thrill of a generous and giving heart.

And sometimes I end up in the corner sobbing about how no one is loving me in the way I most want to be loved.

But you wouldn’t know anything about that, so we’ll move along.

“Oh onion, you are just so handsome.”

 (That was Emily, falling in love with the vegetables she was putting into her soup. She also spoke with fond affection towards the fennel).

There have been moments when a simple and sweet love walked in and dressed the walls of my being with beautiful paintings, causing a radiance to flow through and fill the space with grace.

And then there has been that love that drops in unannounced and blows the whole place to bits. If you’re lucky that doesn’t happen too many times in a life time.
And if you’re lucky, it happens at least once.

Celia says that she has a friend who is advocating for lovecations. It’s sort of like family leave, but is designed for those first few months after you fall head over heels in love and have a hard time concentrating on the realities of life. (For the record, falling in love is a tragic expression. Can’t you just see a big pool that all of these people fall into, and they are gasping for breath as they grab at the air trying to get out? Or maybe we should change the scene, they aren’t drowning at all, they are all swimming in love, rolling around like happy dolphins…)

A few years ago I was watching the sun rise over San Francisco on New Year’s Day with Kait and Rae. Rather than make new years resolutions (that’s so 1999) we declared a phrase for the year. Mine was LOVE ACTUALIZED. Yeah, I wanted romance. But I wanted more than that. I wanted to live a life in love, love of self, love of work, love of friends and community, and love in the bedroom. 10 days later I woke up on my birthday to discover that Rae had made me a Love Actualized sign. I hope everyone gets to have a friend like Rae. And be a friend like Rae.

We lost a lot of friends of the planet this week. In two separate stranding 650 pilot whales beached themselves in New Zealand. 350 have died. But 200 self rescued yesterday and have joined their pod out at sea. Tesa called to tell just as I was finishing up this love note to you. I like to keep these letters a sweet oasis for you— a safe place from so much of the tragedy that is fills our news stream. But today, a great number of dear ones have given their life, and I can’t speak about love, and not speak to these gentle giants. These beloveds of the planet that have evoked the sensation of love in me like no other. 

We first met when I was in college, studying marine ecology in Baja when a calf jumped out of the water and looked us right in the eye. Her mother rolled over beside our skiff like a dog on the rug gives her belly to be rubbed. Somehow, this animal, that I have never touched, held, or ridden, not only captured my attention, but my commitment, and my love. I’ve spent 6 years working on (and off) a book called The Whale Dreamer. Listened to more whale music than I should admit to while writing it, and bask in their resonance every chance I get in and out of the water. The book is nearly done, and I am earning to bring the outrageous story of Kelley, a young girl called to by the whales to surface something they have been protecting for a very long time: the dream of our future. 
When 400 whales bring themselves to the surface of the ocean, and land themselves on our shores, I can't help but wonder what are they offering to bring to the surface? 

It only seems right to leave you with this video. It was designed as a pilot for a series I wanted to produce about people healing through their contact with the natural world and introduces Rebecca Goff. I'll let her and the whales speak for themselves.  

We filmed it in Maui, and not more than a few hours after arriving, the sirens went off as Fukushima took place sending a shock wave across the ocean. Two days later we were in the water, swimming through the resonance of the whale songs, as the earth recalibrated through a series of small quakes around the world. We received aqua cranial in the deep ocean that day, with whales singing, and the earth shaking. There are but a few moments in this life that I can pin point and say, “There, that one changed me.” That day was one of them.
I hope you go swim in the wild with the whales. That you drift on the surface as a song that holds the resonance of mothers milk seeps through you.

Once again, I have been indulgent with my words. I hope a few were placed in such a way that served you.

And it romance calls, or your want to honor a soul connection with a friend or family member, Soul to Soul Love Stories are pretty darn delightful if I don't say so myself. 

May you love well, and generously, and risk what is worth being lost in the name of love,


"What we are doing here is so important, we better not take it too seriously." Suzuki Roshi