On Women Being Too Much, and Men Not Being Enough


( random thoughts and a half baked quandary)

I was in a group a few weekends ago where I heard for the first time the pattern. I have been hearing women talking about being too much for ever. But for the first time I really heard how many men feel like they aren’t enough.

“Is that true?” I asked a man in my life. 
“Ahhh…. Duh,” was his response (along with an eye roll).

OMFG. Are you kidding me?? was my response. And I started to feel the great trap of our time. With the emergence of the feminine, dare I say... the sacred feminine, it would seem that we are in the inbetween…this moment when we are waiting~ with baited breath~ for the sacred masculine to find the trap door and escape out of the prison of patriarchy.

You probably know all I about this. I just stumbled upon it.

I had never realized how stifled the sacred masculine is.

I used to call them SNAGS. Sensitive new age angry guys. Aware of the feminine. Making space for it. But angry as all get out for not having a place of their own in the process. I feel my generation is the one caught inbetween. Where the men are aware of how the female has been mistreated for so many eons and is now trying to make space for it, is trying to learn how to honor it and cherish it…in the women around them, and in themselves. We are all feeling this together. And the force on this planet at this time is mind boggling powerful right? Women are standing, gathering, focusing. 
Many men are standing for women, gathering, and focusing.

But just like any pendulum swinging the opportunity to go out of balance is ripe.

And it feels like we are on the hunt for how to be in right relationship with the sacred masculine. What is this “sacred” my east coast self challenges my west coast self. What is the new age jargon you bounce? I’m sure there has been so much written about this~ and I’m just in the midst of a facebook quandary so will wax on that if I were to feel into the definition, it's the masculine that takes on the role of protector, the hunter, provider, being in service of his community. As we whirl and twirl and mix and match and make our way through this societal initiation of finding our way into balance…where women are providing more, men are finding their place in the home and learning how to be fathers again, I have never had more compassion in my bones about the struggle that men go through as we integrate and come back into relationship with the sacred… masculine and feminine. The men of our time are being shamed. Dressed down. Harassed. And have been beaten into a corner. I see so many men in the position of being just as timid as we once forced women to be. This too is out of balance.

And it is exhausting as it forces so many women to be too much as they reach so far forward, lean so far in, as they back men into a corner who are trying to make space for them.

It would feel so good if we could just meet in the middle.

Enough with the too much not enough dance.

We’re learning a new kind of dance. And when you learn a new dance, if you really go for it, you bump into each other, step on a few toes, and then you laugh about it, rewind the song, and start again until you get the moves just right.